Pass over Manners: In my revel in, those males who ‘don’t do items’ are all the time duds

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 21-year-old daughter has been courting a conservative younger guy since highschool. He turns out great sufficient, and he’s extremely smart. They’re each learning trade in faculty.

She turns out to wish to marry him, and I’ve reservations. I’m questioning what your ideas could be at the following:

He does now not give items, and would possibly skip events comparable to marriage ceremony anniversaries (if they have got them), birthdays, Christmas and the entire relaxation. He says that there’s a ways an excessive amount of commercialization round vacations, and that it forces folks to buy and obtain items that no person in reality desires.

I’m nervous as a result of folks have a tendency to take each and every different as a right the longer they’re married, until they paintings now not to do this. My husband and I’ve been married for 30 years, so I know the way simple this is to do. It seems to be to me find it irresistible has already began, and she or he does now not also have a ring but.

My daughter isn’t any saint, however she is a giving individual with so much going for her. If he’s appearing her his appreciation in alternative ways, I’m really not aware of it. In my revel in, each and every guy who has ever stated they “don’t do items” has grew to become out to be a dud.

What’s your opinion? Must I concern?

GENTLE READER: It sort of feels not likely that you want Pass over Manners’ permission to fret if a possible son-in-law is just right sufficient to your daughter, however you will have it, together with a little bit of recommendation: Understand that your worry is that he deal with your daughter neatly, now not that he purchase her issues.

You and Pass over Manners remember the fact that his place on items is immature, pedestrian and self-serving — to not point out complicated, as maximum trade scholars a minimum of tolerate trade. However the younger guy believes it’s logical, trendy and, the deficient expensive, authentic.

What you want to grasp is whether or not there are extra vital facets of the younger guy’s habits towards your daughter that you want to fret about. Communicate to her.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How will have to one reply to a stranger’s questions on one’s ethnicity?

I used to be trying out of a grocery retailer when the cashier requested me, “Are you (insert ethnicity right here)?” This isn’t the primary time I’ve been requested this intrusive, increasingly more worrying query by way of a whole stranger. I believe it’s impolite and I don’t wish to solution.

On this case, I requested her why she had to know. Her reaction was once, “As a result of you seem like you’re from there.” All the interplay frustrated me. I wish to know the way, or even supposing, I will have to reply to a stranger’s query about my ethnicity.

GENTLE READER: “I don’t know you that neatly. Are the peas on sale?”

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Pass over Manners comprises the second one part by the use of representation of tips on how to trade the topic, now not on account of a premonition in regards to the greens on your native grocery.

Please ship your inquiries to Pass over Manners at her web page,; to her e-mail, [email protected]; or via postal mail to Pass over Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Town, MO 64106.