Omit Manners: We fled the marriage, humiliated. Have been we in reality behaving like ‘bumpkins’?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We simply attended the marriage of an in depth buddy’s daughter at a resort.

Our desk’s primary classes, braised red meat or salmon, had been introduced in oddly beneficiant parts. Every plate can have fed no less than 4 folks.

It gave the look of this sort of waste that I quietly requested for a doggie bag, as I did intend to present a few of it to our canine. This raised the eyebrows of a pair at our desk, family of the groom whom we had by no means met. The server mentioned “excellent concept” and impulsively gave us a field. We wrapped up simply the meat, not anything else. Any other couple adopted go well with.

Our daughter, an in depth buddy of the bride, is on mattress relaxation within the closing two weeks of being pregnant. She had requested if lets convey her a slice of marriage ceremony cake. When the servers completed serving cake to the visitors, and it used to be obtrusive there used to be masses left over, I with courtesy asked a work for “an absent visitor.”

The groom’s family then roundly and loudly attacked us for being impolite and “grasping” for “hoarding meals.” The lady instructed us icily, “It’s by no means OK to take house meals from a marriage!”

We attempted to give an explanation for, however they wouldn’t pay attention. The lady were given up and stormed over to tell the groom’s folks. They made a scene, pointing at us and the use of phrases like “bumpkins.” All of the room heard them. We rapidly departed, humiliated. We left the meat and the cake at the desk.

I’m ashamed. I used to be simply looking to do the correct issues: no longer waste meals and honor my daughter’s easy request. Now we have have shyed away from folks from the marriage since, and I don’t know the way I will ever communicate to the bride’s folks once more. I stay looking to write some more or less be aware or letter to ask for forgiveness.

However I recall my folks bringing cake house from weddings frequently when I used to be somewhat woman, with the perception I used to be intended to position it underneath my pillow and dream of my long run husband!

Have been we in reality so within the incorrect?

GENTLE READER: Smartly … sure.

The boxed cake that you just so fondly bear in mind out of your adolescence used to be most likely introduced, no longer demanded. And whilst it can be completely OK to invite for leftovers at a cafe the place one has paid for the meals, the similar isn’t true at a non-public serve as the place one has no longer.

Wasteful as it should had been, the leftover meals used to be no longer yours to take. You may have fairly gotten away with this type of transgressions, however Omit Manners is afraid that two does certainly glance slightly grasping.

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Whilst that doesn’t justify your fellow visitors’ excessive response, it does give perception into why they idea you had been treating the development like a travel to the middle of the night cruise buffet.

If you happen to do write a letter of apology, are not making excuses, merely inform your hosts that you’re sorry for the overstep and also you hope that they are going to forgive you. You might also upload how sorry your daughter used to be to have overlooked the development. Even supposing, perhaps don’t point out that what she in reality overlooked used to be the cake.

Please ship your inquiries to Omit Manners at her web site,; to her e mail, [email protected]; or via postal mail to Omit Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Town, MO 64106.