Expensive Abby: I don’t need my sons to listen to the rumors about me

DEAR ABBY: I retired to Malaga, Spain, after my marriage of 38 years resulted in divorce.

I’ve long past to dinner with a couple of males since shifting right here. This can be a pretty neighborhood with many retired citizens from all over the place Europe and the U.Ok.

My downside is, after a couple of dates, they suppose that as a result of they purchased me dinner it entitles them to intercourse. I’m have compatibility and moderately sexy, however I could also be out of contact on courting.

Those males have implied to others that we did have intercourse, and now unmarried and married males are calling me. The one method they might have got my quantity is thru those males.

I’ve attempted to make mild of this, however I’m fearful that after my sons or grandchildren talk over with subsequent month, they are going to listen one thing that isn’t true. How do I prevent this nonsense with out inflicting exhausting emotions?

NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL

DEAR NOT LIKE THAT: What has been performed to you is vile and disgusting. Somebody you refused to have intercourse with has retaliated with the similar of writing your telephone quantity on a rest room wall.

Inform your sons now what has been happening so they are going to be ready after they talk over with. And in the event you settle for any longer invites, shed light on upfront that you are going to be paying on your dinner your self.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been seeking to have a kid for 9 years without a luck. We’ve been thru 14 rounds of fertility medicine, simplest two of which have been a hit, and neither one produced a kid.

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My husband desires me to forestall remedies as a result of he doesn’t like what the drugs do to me, and I’ve agreed to forestall as a result of I feel my frame is simply too drained.

However, Abby, all of me desires to be a mom. Should I surrender, or will have to I stay attempting even if it could result in additional heartbreak?

MATERNAL IN WASHINGTON

DEAR MATERNAL: Concentrate in your frame. It can be time to imagine different choices than fertility medicine. Those come with fostering, adoption or hiring a surrogate to lend a hand.

Those are topics to pursue, first along with your husband, then your doctor and most likely an lawyer who focuses on adoption legislation. And don’t put out of your mind, it isn’t exceptional for some ladies who undertake to later develop into pregnant with out clinical intervention. I want you success on whichever trail you select.

DEAR ABBY: My son is getting married for the 3rd time. I paid for part of his first marriage ceremony and likewise gave a beneficiant present. I gave him an important money present for his 2nd marriage ceremony. Do I give him and his new bride but any other money present?

They’re making plans a small marriage ceremony in a foreign country, which I received’t be attending. All were — or will probably be — first weddings for the brides. I don’t need the brand new bride to really feel slighted, however alternatively, it’s getting in point of fact dear for me.

They reside a nomadic existence, so subject matter presents would now not be liked through them. What’s a at a loss for words mom to do?

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DISGUSTED MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR MOM: Write them a test and hope the 3rd time is the attraction on your nomadic son. Then inform him you’re final your checkbook.

Expensive Abby is written through Abigail Van Buren, sometimes called Jeanne Phillips, and used to be based through her mom, Pauline Phillips. Touch Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.